I'm so blind

I was out a nightclub this weekend and as I walked in, I heard some men arguing at the door. The bouncer was telling these men that their clothes were "too baggy". This sounded odd to me - their clothes were loose fitting - but in the style that is common for men, not ridiculously so. I was confused. And then I saw the enraged look in one man's eyes that he couldn't get in and I got it like a smack in the face. It wasn't because their clothes were baggy, it was because they were black. I couldn't believe it.

There is this scene in Knocked Up where the women are trying to get in an exclusive nightclub and the bouncer won't let them in because, "You old, she pregnant. Can't have a bunch of old pregnant bitches running around. That's crazy, I'm only allowed to let in five percent black people. He said that, that means if there's 25 people here I get to let in one and a quarter black people. So I gotta hope there's a black midget in the crowd."

The scene is meant to be funny. I didn't realize this was an actual policy. And I don't know what I can do about it but be angry.

No words

"If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible, who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time, who still questions the power of our democracy... tonight is your answer."

Things Sarah Palin Can Name

Since we know multiple Supreme Court cases she disagrees with and any news sources she regularly reads are not one of them; here is a fairly exhaustive list of things Sarah Palin can name.

That being said, I really worry about the debate. This seems like one of the places Clinton could've been really useful to the Obama campaign as a VP. Joe Biden has the ability to come across as incredibly sexist... it's all very strange seeing as how Palin may be the worst of the four on women's issues.

Amendment 2

We are all kind of preoccupied with the big thing on this year's ballot - the Presidential election and what not. Let's not forget other important things.

Amendment 2, the so-called Marriage Protection Amendment is dangerous. You should be doing all you can to educate your friends and family about it. It is not just calling for a moratorium on gay marriage (not that I would agree with that either). Rather, it is calling for gay marriage or anything that is functionally its equivalent (civil unions, for example) to be deemed unrecognizable under Florida Law.

This amendment runs the risk of making it impossible for gay and lesbian couples to be able to make critical end of life decisions for one another, to visit one another in the hospital, to obtain health insurance together, and the list goes on. As I said, it is dangerous, inhumane, and has a name that is an outright lie. Please dialog with those you influence about the importance of voting NO on 2!!

More info here

Offensive? Yes.

Condo "Before" Pics

As promised, here are the pictures. These are definitely the "before" ones, so I'll post new ones once we have painted and get moved in.

The view from our bed room window.

This gives you an idea of how open it feels.

The kitchen.

Living room looking away from the sun room.

The living room looking toward the sun room.

Down the staircase.

The courtyard of our condo complex. Our place is the top one in the front of the left hand side.

Child Activist

My dad told me the funniest story yesterday. He was telling me how when he married my mother, he threw away all his "girly magazines", except for one copy of the May 1966 issue of Playboy (his birth month/year). When I was like 10 or 11 years old he and I were in the basement, looking through his old stuff (most likely LPs) and I pulled out the copy of Playboy. "What is this?!" I exclaimed.

He said the page I opened it to was not in any way explicit; it had a woman wearing a very tight fitting, short sweater dress. I said, "You need to get rid of this." And he starts saying how it is a collectible, and his birth month, etc. I looked him in the eye and said, "If you keep this, I will not respect you." He said okay, took it from me, and threw it away.

I do not remember this at all, but it does not surprise me in the least. I have always been very forthright about the things I feel strongly about. Apparently I was a vocal feminist before I knew what a vocal feminist was.

Key Concepts

When I became the youth minister at my church there was a curriculum in place. It shall remain nameless. All of our youth activities sprang from it. The truth - it was the dumbest excuse for youth curriculum I'd ever seen... and I've seen terrible stuff.

The badness started with it's "key concepts" which were, 1) manhood and womanhood are gifts from God and 2) adulthood must be earned. First of all, I understand there are some gender politics issues with the concepts. Second, I have no idea what the hell they mean or how they connect with Christianity.

There is nothing revolutionary. Nothing about a deeper connection with God or those around you. Nothing about fighting against injustice. Nothing about anything that would make this in any way unique from something someone could teach at a damn etiquette class. It is precisely the kind of bullshit that makes people think Christianity is simply a system that makes people nice and very supportive of the status quo.

It's gone now.

Adventures in Homeownership

We closed (which means we signed about 1,000 pieces of paper - most of which we had no idea what they meant). It felt great. We were homeowners. We were in debt for the rest of our live, but what are you gonna do?

Last night, Shelly had planned a wedding shower for a friend that was getting married on Saturday. So I called my friend Tim, to meet me at the house and have a few beers in celebration. We get there, I put the key in the deadbolt... it sticks. Fortunately, we have a bottle opener with us, and use it to leverage the lock open. We get in the condo. I try to use the bottle opener to get the key out of the deadbolt. It snaps. The one key we have to our new house breaks on the first night we have the house!

We call Lowe's to see how late they were open, and realized we only had 15 minutes to get there. We make it, buy new knobs, change out everything. Not exactly the way I planned on spending the night, but I guess that's home ownership - no landlord to call when stuff breaks! That'll take some getting used to.

We love the place, I really will put pics up soon.

Am I Reading This Right?

Ok, I'm no economist. I don't understand this bailout thing. I know the experts say it's necessary. To me it sounds like we're saving greedy bankers (I found it interesting to hear this morning that the banks are lobbying for the bill to pass but against the provision that limits how much bank CEOs can make.... interesting).

I read Senator Obama's remarks here and thought, "Did he just say what I thought he said?" Because it sure sounded like he said screw the environment, the working class, the poor, the elderly, veterans, etc. We need to hold off on those proposals to save greedy bankers. Someone please correct me if I'm wrong, but a vote for Nader is sounding better than ever.

Bad News

I've been feeling not quite right for awhile now. It's nothing major, I just really miss school. I miss the classes, the books, the discussions, the professors, the students. Everything. I had applied for three consecutive semesters to the MA English program at UNF. I was accepted, but for three consecutive semesters, money was not there for me to actually take the classes.

So, second plan. Since MAs are so expensive, I decided to simply pursue a second bachelors degree, this time in history. I was excited, but a little premature. It turns out that because of the property tax cuts from last year (you remember the ones the really rich people were excited about, but teachers, fire fighters, police officers, and pretty much everyone else opposed - even our ultra-conservative mayor) mean that budget cuts in the state college system have made it so that UNF can no longer allow people to pursue second BAs.

So, I'm too poor to pursue an MA and unable to pursue a BA. I love my state.

Condo

Shelly and I are closing on a condo in less than a week. I am so excited! Pics to come soon.

Communication 101

I've realized recently what it is that makes for a productive conversation. You need a few things:

1) A point of view
2) Another person with a point of view (it can be the same or different from your own)
3) A sense of humor
4) The desire to learn - (ATTN: that means it's not about proving the other person wrong)

I'm mainly drawing on a recent "conversation" with my brother-in-law.

We do not talk politics or religion with Shelly's family because we are in disagreement with them on almost any issue you can imagine. The only time I even try is when it is clear that we are all in agreement. It's just not worth it otherwise. Her mom is terrified of conflict (and I think the story that follows kind of explains why) and so as soon as any disagreement over anything occurs she basically ends the conversation (even when she hasn't been part of it).

Well, the other day we were with her family and the subject of Stanton dropping the 2.0 requirement came up (if you're unfamiliar with this, ask and I'll explain in the comments). I stayed out of it because it turns out I feel like the requirements can be equated to soft racism, and her brother tends to not believe racism exists. Which is funny, since he is the second most racist person I know. Anyway, I let the conversation continue as long as I could without interrupting. I was pretending to read e-mail on my phone.

Finally, I heard her brother say, "The problem honestly isn't with the school system in general. It's the black culture. That's what is ruining those schools on the north and west sides of town."

Excuse me?

I said, "Josh, clearly those neighborhoods have been neglected for years by our city, and we should be really trying to make those schools the very best in order to break the cycles and structures that are in play. I mean, everyone should have a quality education. Not just those in the 'good' parts of town."

He said, "It's not the schools, it's the culture."

I said, "And school is part of culture. It may even be the primary place we learn culture."

Now, up to this point it was clear he was irritated at my liberal notion that everyone should have access to quality education. I know, I'm a commie. But, it hadn't quite seemed to break any of my above rules.

Until he shouted, "You just want the government to raise kids. Don't you see you're asking government to do way more than it's meant to?"

Talking points are not the way forward in a conversation. Shouting me down is not the way forward. Treating me like I'm stupid and naive is not the way forward. I tuned out because it was no longer about learning anything. It was about being right. And I really don't care how right you think you are (or how right I think I am, for that matter). If we are to move forward as a society, the conversation has to become about how to move forward as a society, not who has the right ideology.

All the kids ain't doin' it

Craig Ferguson has a great clip on You Tube right now. A piece:

If you don’t vote you’re a moron. I know that you say, “Not voting is a vote”. No it isn’t; not voting is just being stupid. Voting is not sexy, is not hip, it is not fashionable, it’s not a movie, it’s not a video game, all the kids ain’t doin’ it. Frankly, voting is a pain in the ass, but here’s a word, look it up, it is your DUTY to vote.

You can watch the whole clip here.

Zoe the warrior woman

So I must admit I am a little (okay a lot) intimidated by guns. This might have something to do with the fact that I have had almost no exposure to guns; I've never even held one - the closest I've come is holding the bullets for my grandfather while he loaded his hunting rifle when I was little. However, I love to try anything new and I am all about getting past my fears/biases, so when the guy I'm dating mentioned going to the shooting range, I was all in.

Walking in the shop, I think I was more intimidated by the NRA posters and large quantities of camo than I was by the copious amounts of guns. And there were a lot of different types of guns. I mean, how many different ways do you really need to kill someone? They even had a handgun with a pink handle. (I think they were aiming for my demographic...pink makes everything better!) We rented a 9mm, bought some bullets and a paper dude to shoot at, and went in. After a few lessons on how to line it up and how not to anticipate the shot (which would make me jump and throw off my aim), I started having fun. I messed that paper dude up! I learned something new about myself - I'm actually a good shot (never saw that coming). And while I don't think I'll ever own a gun, I like being more knowledgeable (and feeling a little like Zoe from Firefly).

Cold moose killa

There is so much I could say about Palin. But this says it all - with a beat:

The RNC

Is about to make my head explode. Rudy Giuliani's speech was one of the most ignorant diatribes I've ever heard.

Fuck you Giuliana Depandi

I was reading this post over at Feministe which mentions Giuliana Depandi's book Think Like a Guy: How to Get a Guy by Thinking Like One, which should have been called Think Like a Misogynist: How to Write a Book That Compares Dating Women with Killing and Cutting Up Animals. In the intro offered for free on Amazon.com she tells the reader that men really want women that play hard to get and offers this metaphor:

“If a deer hunter lands his prey within the first five minutes he’s in the woods, he’ll experience an immediate sense of excitement…but the joy will wear off as quickly as it came, and in no time he’ll move on to his next victim. Therefore, you have to let a guy sweat it out. Imagine this: A hunter enters the woods and after about seven or eight minutes, he spots his prey. He cocks his gun, takes aim, fires--and misses. No big deal. He cocks his gun again…and misses again, and again, again. After several attempts, he starts getting really frustrated. Does that mean he’s gonna pack up and go home? Hell, no! In fact he’s gonna go after…the one that’s a little too sly and ‘evades’ him. ..As he sits against a tree, nearly defeated, he hears a rustle. He … fires his forty-ninth bullet. And with one shot he strikes his prey right in the heart …He treats this particular one with dignity…once he gets home, he cooks up and bites in to the most delicious deer meat he’s ever tasted…he mounts the deer’s head on the wall directly within eyeshot of his desk so he can admire it for years to come.”

So if you want a man who is gonna shoot you, eat you, and then mount your remains on the wall - play hard to get! This is some of the worst misogny I have ever read, the woman is "the victim" and "his prey". "No" doesn't mean no! "No" just means you have to try harder in order to shoot me, do whatever you want with my insides, and make me your trophy.

The breeding properties of M&Ms

This was linked on qwantz.com and is HILARIOUS:


Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them breaks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

There can be only one.

Politics for Kids

A little history: My parents, especially my dad, are VERY conservative. I have a nine-year old little sister who basically only hears one perspective all the time. Apparently in the car on the way to a family dinner last night, my parents were discussing McCain's veep choice and my sister, like all little kids, is agreeing with everything her dad says. When they get to the restaurant, my mom, the pacifist, suggests leaving the conversation in the car because she doesn't want it to get ugly between my dad and I. My little sister asks why, and my mom tells her because I'm voting for Obama. My sister says, "Why is she voting for Obama?!?" My mom tells her to ask me later, in private.

So she finally gets me alone after dinner and asks me why I'm voting for Obama. And I'm thinking, "How do I explain this to a nine-year-old?!?"

I started by trying to explain the fundamental differences between Democrats and Republicans- more/less govn't, etc. Then I told her a couple of the reasons I am a Democrat in the simplest way possible:
1) Equal pay for equal work. I asked what she would think if my mom offered to give my brother $1.00 to do a chore, but would only give her 75 cents to do the same chore. She thought that would be unfair.I told her that McCain voted against legislation that would allow women to sue for being paid unfairly. (In other words, McCain thinks its cool for us to make .75/1.00.)
2) The rights of all Americans regardless of sexual preference. I told her I thought that if two people are in love, they should be able to get married, whether or not they are a woman and a man, a woman and a woman, or a man and a man.
3) Abortion. She asked me, "But what about abortion? Abortion is bad right?" I told her having an abortion is a tough choice, but that as long as women can get pregnant, women will have abortions, so there needs to be safe, legal abortions to prevent women's suffering and/or deaths. I wouldn't have mentioned this if she hadn't brought it up, I don't think that a nine-year old should have to think about abortion.
4) Money. Specifically Bush's tax cuts that McCain wants to make permanent. I told her it made more sense to me to give tax breaks to the poor/middle class people who need them, than to give tax breaks to people who are already very rich and just hope that it "trickles down".

She was quiet for a minute, really thinking about everything I said, her little brow furrowed. Then she said, "Okay, now I understand why you are voting for Obama." I told her that she should learn everything she can about politics and then make her own decisions and not allow her choices to be influenced by me, or anybody else.

What a smart, gutsy little girl to ask me that outright! She's gonna do big things.