I forgot to mention one key thing about the damaging effects of pornography - its inherent, unapologetic racism. It is truly the "last frontier" for traditional racism. Modern racism exists in so many facets of daily life (that is tragic in an entirely different way - but I'll save that for another post), but traditional, more obvious racism is completely socially stigamatized. I just read this article by Vednita Carter in which she compares pornography featuring African American women to slavery. I think it is a perfect metaphor; I won't get into the details of stereotypes here, but we all know them - and the harm they create. How does everyone riot against racism in everyday life, but in porn it is simply "part and parsel"?
And now, the bigger question - enough lamenting the problem, what is the solution? Not to get rid of it from society, that is most likely impossible, but for those (female and male) whose sexuality has been shaped by pornography, but now want to change that- "how to"? Is it possible to in some way "re-mold" your subconscious? I like what Rob said about making a conscious choice every day to not view his wife in "the depraved mindset of pornography". Is that the solution? To fight it consciously day by day? As a woman with very little knowledge of porn, I have had certain experiences with men in the past that have left me baffled. And now, after reading accounts of pornography in these essays, it all makes sense!! So, without even viewing porn, my sexuality has been shaped by it - I can't imagine the minds of the men who were raised on it. How do we even know if "we like what we like cause we like it"? Or if we like what we like because we were taught that is what we are supposed to like? What do I really like?
It seems to me that if you eliminate the attitudes and expectations that porn creates from your life, then there is a chance for true intimacy....but how?
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I think you are on the right track to make a change in our attitudes, preferences, sexualities in general. I did hear back from Robert Jensen and he suggested that the best way to make a change is to do it for yourself with like-minded people who are doing the same and who are willing and interested in discussing it. So, I think we're on to something here.
Good point. It's not just racist against black women, but black men, Asian women... basically, any minority group that has ever made a porno.
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