Monday, July 14, 2008

Okay, so maybe I'm picky

As the token single member of this blog, I feel obliged to write token single type of things. Today's topic: deal breakers. Everyone knows the serious deal breakers - lying, cheating, racism, etc. Here are a few unique to me.

The top ten ways to repel a Rachelle:

10) Wearing the dumb-ass uniform of an Abercrombie and Fitch polo, plaid shorts, and flip flops.
9) Asking me if I like Lincoln Park or Disturbed. Gag.
8) Smoking. Gross. Enough said.
7) Telling me you hate the Internet. I like the Internet better than most people.
6) Unless it’s Halloween, you better not be wearing a cowboy hat.
5) Mentioning sex within the first five minutes of meeting me. Everybody likes sex, you don’t have to spell that out about yourself, creep.
4) Insulting my vegetarianism. You don’t have to be vegetarian, but please don’t make a crack about me murdering vegetables. Seriously.
3) Being a registered Republican. Voting against women’s rights is not sexy.
2) Insulting my dog. (Some moron tried to use this as a pickup line on me yesterday.)

And the number one way to make me give you a dirty look and walk away -
1) Telling me, “I don’t read much.” (Or, telling me the last thing you read was John McCain’s biography. Ick. I honestly don’t know which one is worse.)

If only I could meet my dream guy, Henry Rollins. His spoken word about dating is so a male version of me. Check it out.

"I want a woman who can sit me down, shut me up, tell me ten things I don't already know, and make me laugh. I don't care what you look like, just turn me on. And if you can do that, I will follow you on bloody stumps through the snow. I will nibble your mukluks with my own teeth. I will do your windows. I will care about your feelings. Just have something in there. I want one-a them readers, that’s what I want."

2 comments:

Quinn said...

What if the guy hated the internet in the earthy, hippie-dippie, I'd rather be camping way? Could that turn that frown upside down?

crankosaur said...

Vegetarian jokes=lamest thing ever.

 
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